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Surviving A Sudden Death

A sudden death is a death for which you have no time to prepare. It can result from an
accident, suicide, homicide, disaster or a health-related issue such as a heart attack or stroke.

An unexpected death can force you into a new world. Though you know your loved one has died, you may still expect him or her to walk through the door. And, because the death has occurred without warning, you may feel overwhelmed, bewildered, anxious or fearful.

A possible reaction to the death is to believe that the world is no longer as safe and predictable as you had thought. As a result, you may become hypervigilant, doing all you can to protect your loved ones from danger.

If you have experienced complex emotions and you are not sure how to manage these feelings, remember you are not alone. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself physically and emotionally and, possibly, seek professional help.

COMMON REACTIONS TO SUDDEN DEATH
You can experience all of the following reactions after the sudden death of a loved one:

• A high level of distress with a lowered capacity to cope
• A sense of unfinished business because you were unable to say goodbye
• Acute grief, shock and numbness for a prolonged period
• The need to reconstruct the events leading to the death

YOUR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
Consider the following suggestions when you have experienced a sudden death:

• Rest, exercise and eat properly.
• Try to maintain your daily routines and schedule.
• Express your pain to someone, such as a trusted friend or counselor, who will understand and acknowledge your feelings.
• Join a support group. Check with area hospitals or churches for groups.
• Build up your spiritual resources daily with nature walks, poetry, prayer partners, inspirational reading or worship services.
• Try to forgive others for being insensitive.
• Seek out others who knew your loved one and let them share their stories.
• Take a break from your grief. It is healthy and OK for you to do something that makes you feel better.

— Adapted from an article by Nancy E. Crump, M.S., Certified Grief Counselor

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